Top 10 Family Guy Quotes
A list of my personal favorite Family Guy quotes. Sure, there will be plenty of amazing quotes that I miss. But these are the 10 best that I have taken down over my years of Family Guy enjoyment...
10) Peter: Well Lois, since you asked, I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic.
9) Stewie: Do you know what I do Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep.
8) Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in different flavors.
Mort Goodman: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course, I’m eating them!
7) Upside-down face kid to Meg: Maybe someday we’ll be married and you can go up on me.
6) Joe: I’m not retarded, Peter, I’m handicapped.
Peter: Well now you’re just splitting hairs.
5) Stewie to prostitute: So tell me, is there any tread left ton the tires or would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
4) Stewie: You know, Meg, if you just kill yourself now, you’ll probably get a full page in the yearbook.
3) Stewie: Hey, Chris, whatever happened to Geena Davis. She used to be in movies, but she’s not in movies anymore. She’s attractive enough, but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not a good tooth-to-gum ratio.
2) Olivia: You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Stewie: Ahhh, haha. Oh, gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... I'm here. God you're so funny.
#1 Family Guy quote of all time:
-Dennis Miller (on Monday Night Football): I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...
-Peter: What the hell does rant mean?
10) Peter: Well Lois, since you asked, I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic.
9) Stewie: Do you know what I do Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep.
8) Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in different flavors.
Mort Goodman: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course, I’m eating them!
7) Upside-down face kid to Meg: Maybe someday we’ll be married and you can go up on me.
6) Joe: I’m not retarded, Peter, I’m handicapped.
Peter: Well now you’re just splitting hairs.
5) Stewie to prostitute: So tell me, is there any tread left ton the tires or would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
4) Stewie: You know, Meg, if you just kill yourself now, you’ll probably get a full page in the yearbook.
3) Stewie: Hey, Chris, whatever happened to Geena Davis. She used to be in movies, but she’s not in movies anymore. She’s attractive enough, but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not a good tooth-to-gum ratio.
2) Olivia: You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Stewie: Ahhh, haha. Oh, gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... I'm here. God you're so funny.
#1 Family Guy quote of all time:
-Dennis Miller (on Monday Night Football): I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...
-Peter: What the hell does rant mean?
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