Eisentower30: Everything You Need And Some You Don't

Dark Knight Gold Mine

2008-07-02T02:37:02Z

Yea, so I accidentally stumbled upon a Dark Knight motherload on YouTube. Enjoy the many actual clips from the movie. 12 to be exact. 12 minutes of Dark Knight. PLUS a brand new trailer with some extra footage that continues to show the Joker's amazing character. Now some of you may be questioning why I want to see so much of the movie before it even comes out. Well, if you knew me you'd know that I'd do highly questionable things to make this movie come out today. But also, this movie is 2 and a half hours long, mind you. I don't think a bunch of previews and a bunch of bonus footage is going to spoil an appetite. In fact, it only makes it grow. What I'm most interested in seeing is not a surprise or something I didn't expect, but simply the finished product. The film as a whole. Although a surprise is always in store with Christopher Nolan and I would love another.

Wanted: Review

2008-07-01T01:44:31Z

Action-packed. A thrill a minute. Blah, blah, blah. The commercials will spit out those paid-for advertisements from the typical sources like New York Times or Roger Ebert. But this time there will be no exaggerations. Wanted is a true action movie to the fullest extent. How can I even describe it? Well, it's got a little of a bunch of movies. The Matrix. 300. Equilibrium. Mission Impossible. The list could continue. The first two are the keys, though. Wanted combines the absurd, yet awe-inspiring action of The Matrix with 300's slow-motion intensity. Equilibrium seems to be a major influence in the final act of this movie as well. There is so much originality to Wanted in a time where unique and new ideas are few and far between. I loved the movie for many reasons and hated it for none.

Shades of The Matrix flew through my brain when we begin with our main character in his office cubicle, typing away his meaningless life one keystroke at a time. But it takes a quick turn to becoming its own movie. With the abundant "adult language" it was a more up-to-date movie. I always feel like I can connect to dialogue when they curse a little. It's more realistic. Wanted made me hate office bosses in a way I haven't since The Office a few years ago. But just as quickly as it must have felt for Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy), we are thrust into a flurry of action.



As absurd and off-the-wall as the action scenes get, it is what makes the movie so good. If Wanted just had a bunch of gunfire and some hard hits it wouldn't have struck the audience the way it did. Nobody watching this movie can actually admit they didn't hold their breath in amazement a few times. That sort of "how'd they do that" sensation. But please, kick reality at the door for a bit and enjoy a kick-ass movie. Every single time someone blocked a bullet by firing another bullet at it I about flipped out of my seat. That was easily my favorite visual from Wanted.



But I knew all this going in. I knew it was going to look good. So does it have a worthy plot? No question about it. A key and well-timed plot twist keeps it moving and fresh. The film is always about revenge, but our reasoning is flipped around a few times to keep you on your toes. I definitely didn't feel as connected to the main character as I did in Wall-E, but they did a good enough job to keep me interested. Wanted is all shock and awe and no shock and aww. James McAvoy brings a great performance, albeit weak American accent, to the screen. And who can say enough about Angelina Jolie? She always sizzles the screen. When she shows up, you can guarantee some teenager is sweating a little bit. Okay, fine. You can guarantee I'm sweating a little bit. She looks as good as ever here and the character was made for her. I really do believe whoever wrote Fox (Jolie) in the script designed it specifically for her. And of course, what booty dancing is to Cameron Diaz, or dancing to Christopher Walken, being naked is to Angelina Jolie. They have to do it. It's their trademark. She gets all sorts of naked in one scene. Not quite the digital (fake) frontal nudity of Beowulf, but the real life, no faking it, beauty of a backside of one of the most beautiful women on Earth. Morgan Freeman surprised me by taking this role. Although everything he does is gold, I can't remember ever hearing him curse on screen. And we get the pleasure of two awkward Freeman moments. It fits the character, but not quite him. Either way, the one thing I will remember always about Wanted is the film's final line. I can't think of a better closing line in any movie I've seen. Really! It's just one of those that sticks with you for a while.

Go see Wanted and bring your open mind with you. If you go in remembering it's just a movie meant to entertain and not a documentary meant to inform and bore, you'll be all kinds of excited when the credits roll. Wanted is a great flick and everybody in it brings a good, if not great, performance with them.

our of 5 trophies.

Wall-E: Review

2008-07-01T01:49:57Z

I never thought any robot would make me revisit Johnny Number 5 from Short Circuit and then reconsider him being my favorite (robot) of all time. Well, it happened. And Wall-E is the guy, errr, robot. I went into the 1:05 showing of Wall-E with no expectations really. The previews made it seem like a cute robot that made funny little noises and I was intrigued enough. Right away I connected with this "lifeless" robot.

The solitude of the opening act is what really drives you to care for our main character. Albeit a robot, a great sense of emotion comes with his personality. Whether you choose to believe in the realism of his persona or not, undoubtedly you'll become captivated by it. His little quirks and mannerisms are priceless. The humanity created within the device we call Wall-E is all over the place. I remember legitimately saying, "Wow," to what you will see when the camera pans what was once a booming metropolis and then zooms in to show what Wall-E is doing. As the movie progresses, it begins to have shades of I Am Legend in the loneliness we see in Wall-E. And just as Robert Neville (Will Smith) had in his dog, our main "man" here has a little sidekick of his own, a cockroach. This tiny character stole every scene it was in.



Now, I like to consider myself at least tough enough to call myself a real guy. But even this movie had me saying, "Awww" on multiple occasions. And it's about a damn robot. I know for a fact that's why many people in my age bracket are staying away from the film. They don't even want to give it a chance because of the topic it approaches. But I promise you, disappointment will be the last word on your mind when you leave the theater. There is so much to enjoy. From the main character's evolution of lonely nobody to accidental hero. The relationship between Wall-E and our secondary character of Eve. The way each "talks." Or if not for those, just sit back and take in the sheer beauty of this film. Pixar really does itself in every time and continues to break animation barriers. There is so much realism to every single shot. The lighting makes you forget at times it is even animated.

Something I truly appreciated as an avid moviegoer were the many nods to past sci-fi flicks. One obvious throwback is the look and voice of the main robot in charge of the Axiom (if I explain, I'll spoil). In every way it represents the HAL 9000. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I recommend you rent 2001: A Space Odyssey. It is not only a true movie classic, but a breakthrough in cinema.



There are a few things that irked me about Wall-E. But only a little. First was the presence of actual humans. If our human characters at present time in the film are to be animated, why show actual human actors representing characters from the past? It just messes with continuity and didn't go unnoticed. More important, though, is the excessive in-your-face confronting of today's issues. Not only do they attack our society's desire to sit on a couch in front of a screen as opposed to enjoying our world, but also the increasing problem with obesity. It's so blatant that at some points it seems they are actually telling us through the dialogue exactly what they are trying to show us. In addition, you'll notice the obvious wink to our threatened environment. The entire premise of the film is that we've destroyed our planet so much that we left it forever and put robots in charge of cleaning up until it's safe to return. We get it, global warming is bad and we don't take care of Earth. But hey, Hollywood is a truly liberal community and they can say what they want. I still enjoyed Wall-E thoroughly and kind of actually want to go and see it again.

   out of 5 trophies

Go See Wall-E!

2008-06-30T00:33:29Z

I will get into the actual review tomorrow. I'm seeing Wanted tomorrow, and maybe Get Smart, so I'll have a few reviews for you.

But this is my warning to all of you to go immediately to see Wall-E. It was one of my favorite experiences in a movie theater. I don't know how they did it, but it is genuinely one of the most entertaining minimal dialogue movies in cinematic history. Keep in mind, I said minimal dialogue. But who am I to say so, when IMDb has an opening weekend rating of #9 all time. That will obviously shrink, but it's impressive nonetheless.

The 1st Official Dark Knight Review...

2008-06-26T10:40:29Z

It's finally out...Courtesy of Rolling Stone's resident movie guru and he continues to solidify what I already know. The Dark Knight is the greatest movie of all time and it comes out in 21 days. Holy crap. That's only 3 weeks. Wow. I can't believe that. It's almost here. What the hell. Where's the closest movie theater? I need to go get my tickets for the first 24 showings. Sorry Windy City Thunderbolts, but I may not make my next few starts. By the way, I got released by the Washington wild Things and picked up by the Windy City Thunderbolts in Chicago. Anyway. Deep breath. Why did I start writing this? ... ... Oh, right. The review.

Peter Travers, July 18, 2008, Rolling Stone:

Heads up: a thunderbolt is about to rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies. The Dark Knight, director Christopher Nolan's absolute stunner of a follow-up to 2005's Batman Begins, is a potent provocation decked out as a comic-book movie. Feverish action? Check. Dazzling spectacle? Check. Devilish fun? Check. But Nolan is just warming up. There's something raw and elemental at work in this artfully imagined universe. Striking out from his Batman origin story, Nolan cuts through to a deeper dimension. Huh? Wha? How can a conflicted guy in a bat suit and a villain with a cracked, painted-on clown smile speak to the essentials of the human condition? Just hang on for a shock to the system. The Dark Knight creates a place where good and evil — expected to do battle — decide instead to get it on and dance. "I don't want to kill you," Heath Ledger's psycho Joker tells Christian Bale's stalwart Batman. "You complete me." Don't buy the tease. He means it.

The trouble is that Batman, a.k.a. playboy Bruce Wayne, has had it up to here with being the white knight. He's pissed that the public sees him as a vigilante. He'll leave the hero stuff to district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and stop the DA from moving in on Rachel Dawes (feisty Maggie Gyllenhaal, in for sweetie Katie Holmes), the lady love who is Batman's only hope for a normal life.

Everything gleams like sin in Gotham City (cinematographer Wally Pfister shot on location in Chicago, bringing a gritty reality to a cartoon fantasy). And the bad guys seem jazzed by their evildoing. Take the Joker, who treats a stunningly staged bank robbery like his private video game with accomplices in Joker masks, blood spurting and only one winner. Nolan shot this sequence, and three others, for the IMAX screen and with a finesse for choreographing action that rivals Michael Mann's Heat. But it's what's going on inside the Bathead that pulls us in. Bale is electrifying as a fallibly human crusader at war with his own conscience.

I can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker. Miles from Jack Nicholson's broadly funny take on the role in Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, Ledger takes the role to the shadows, where even what's comic is hardly a relief. No plastic mask for Ledger; his face is caked with moldy makeup that highlights the red scar of a grin, the grungy hair and the yellowing teeth of a hound fresh out of hell. To the clown prince of crime, a knife is preferable to a gun, the better to "savor the moment."

The deft script, by Nolan and his brother Jonathan, taking note of Bob Kane's original Batman and Frank Miller's bleak rethink, refuses to explain the Joker with pop psychology. Forget Freudian hints about a dad who carved a smile into his son's face with a razor. As the Joker says, "What doesn't kill you makes you stranger."

The Joker represents the last completed role for Ledger, who died in January at 28 before finishing work on Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It's typical of Ledger's total commitment to films as diverse as Brokeback Mountain and I'm Not There that he does nothing out of vanity or the need to be liked. If there's a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976's Network, sign me up. Ledger's Joker has no gray areas — he's all rampaging id. Watch him crash a party and circle Rachel, a woman torn between Bale's Bruce (she knows he's Batman) and Eckhart's DA, another lover she has to share with his civic duty. "Hello, beautiful," says the Joker, sniffing Rachel like a feral beast. He's right when he compares himself to a dog chasing a car: The chase is all. The Joker's sadism is limitless, and the masochistic delight he takes in being punched and bloodied to a pulp would shame the Marquis de Sade. "I choose chaos," says the Joker, and those words sum up what's at stake in The Dark Knight.

The Joker wants Batman to choose chaos as well. He knows humanity is what you lose while you're busy making plans to gain power. Every actor brings his A game to show the lure of the dark side. Michael Caine purrs with sarcastic wit as Bruce's butler, Alfred, who harbors a secret that could crush his boss's spirit. Morgan Freeman radiates tough wisdom as Lucius Fox, the scientist who designs those wonderful toys — wait till you get a load of the Batpod — but who finds his own standards being compromised. Gary Oldman is so skilled that he makes virtue exciting as Jim Gordon, the ultimate good cop and as such a prime target for the Joker. As Harvey tells the Caped Crusader, "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain." Eckhart earns major props for scarily and movingly portraying the DA's transformation into the dreaded Harvey Two-Face, an event sparked by the brutal murder of a major character.

No fair giving away the mysteries of The Dark Knight. It's enough to marvel at the way Nolan — a world-class filmmaker, be it Memento, Insomnia or The Prestige — brings pop escapism whisper-close to enduring art. It's enough to watch Bale chillingly render Batman as a lost warrior, evoking Al Pacino in The Godfather II in his delusion and desolation. It's enough to see Ledger conjure up the anarchy of the Sex Pistols and A Clockwork Orange as he creates a Joker for the ages. Go ahead, bitch about the movie being too long, at two and a half hours, for short attention spans (it is), too somber for the Hulk crowd (it is), too smart for its own good (it isn't). The haunting and visionary Dark Knight soars on the wings of untamed imagination. It's full of surprises you don't see coming. And just try to get it out of your dreams.

This Is My Life Story In 1 Minute And 37 Seconds

2008-06-17T12:21:52Z

Anybody who knows me can watch this video and simply shake your head in agreement. It is the biography of Mike Eisenberg. Hilarious...

TTTTTTTThat's What She Said

2008-06-16T00:53:07Z

Dissecting The Latest Dark Knight Trailer

2008-06-15T01:04:28Z

If you didn't know, yet another Dark Knight trailer has been released. As obsessed as I am with this movie, anything I haven't seen or heard yet is the equivalent to striking a batter out. So today, I got a two-for-one deal. Not only has the following preview been released, but also a nice secret revealed. The final cut of The Dark Knight may be 2 1/2 hours long. Seriously, 150 minutes is quite long for a dark, violent movie and I hope that doesn't cause people to dislike the film. The length of King Kong is what eventually led to my ultimate hatred for that movie, among many other things. But if you ask me, TDK is still too short! If somebody said it will last the remainder of my life I'd put my life into finding a cure for aging. I'd do what it takes. With every piece of film or literature coming out on this guaranteed greatest movie of all time, the performance Heath Ledger brings gets even better. I have a feeling every single word uttered from his sloppy, clown face is going to be just another swish of the brush on his masterpiece. I'd actually severely injure an unarmed, innocent person to have this movie released today. Anyway, on to the trailer.

Things I've learned about the movie using only this trailer:

--Bruce Wayne doesn't want to push the envelope any further. The Joker will make him contemplate quitting.

--Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes are playing a pivotal role in trying to clean up Gotham, but does Dent have a thing for Rachel? I sure hope Bruce Wayne/Batman doesn't get too caught up in one girl. He's much more fun when he's...mingling.

--Batman will crush a white van (rumor has it, Scarecrow is driving it).

--The Joker will give Gotham a better class of criminal.

--Somebody (presumably Joker) blows up a hospital.

--Even Alfred is afraid of how far Batman must go to stop Joker.

--Even though The Joker clearly robs a bank in this film, he has been seen standing in front of a massive pyramid built of money on fire.

--Harvey Dent becomes Two-Face by some sort of gasoline lit on fire OR an acid searing off his left side. I'm going with the yellow liquid being gasoline that Joker will light on fire.

--Cops are holding a highly energized Lt. Gordon back from something. Does his daughter, Barbara, get paralyzed by the Joker like in all the comics????

--This movie is going to kick ass in every phase of the movie game.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull: Review

2008-06-12T00:09:40Z

The Indiana Jones trilogy was one of those movie series that didn't need anything else. I've watched the original films multiple times and never felt I needed one for my own generation. The first three are timeless. I've heard plenty of rumors about this newest installment and not a single one was pleasant. From alien encounters to Spielberg lying that he wouldn't use CGI and it turning out to be a CGI employee's wet dream. But either way, it wasn't one of those films I was going to miss out on. The mystique of Indy could never die down for me. He is one of my top 5 favorite movie characters of all time. So, on to the movie.

The most important question I and most viewers had going in was, "Will the 4th keep me interested in an old man with a whip?" My answer? A resounding yes! The classic Indy style of smart-ass comments and quick, witty humor is there. The supporting cast, which, looking back, is almost entirely the reason we loved the movies overall, is as good as ever. From the crazy Oxley always doing something hilarious in the background to Shia LaBeouf's phenomenal performance, it never really missed a beat. A few times, Spielberg and Co. had me scratching my head at absurdities. But even then, I couldn't help but look back at past Indy movies and think how over-the-top they've all been. Hearts being ripped from living person's chests. Spirits which only kill those who look at them. Eternal life. It's always crazy. But then again (WARNING -- SPOILER AHEAD), surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge is absolutely preposterous. Beyond that, being fired through the air, flipping around at hundreds of miles per hour, with no support in a metal box and walking away with one scratch on the face is more Superman than Dr. Jones. Moving on...



There were plenty of little things that kept me smiling. From the continuity of Mutt Williams' (LaBeouf) facial hair as it grows according to his inability to shave all the way to the characters from older movies following over into the fourth. But the one thing I really wanted to pay attention to was Indiana's potential changing of the guard. It seems too obvious for Shia LaBeouf to carry on the role made famous by Harrison Ford. He has the right age, career stability, acting ability, and slick humor. When the big secret was revealed (WARNING -- HUGE SPOILER AHEAD) of Mutt Williams' real name being Henry Jones III, the journey truly began. It's no secret that Ford is getting just a bit old. Although he can still seem to perform the stunts he needs to, the torch must be handed down. And the movie's final scene was one of my favorite movie moments in the last 20 years. It said everything a true Indy fan wanted to know. Shia will take over, but not yet. Ford and LaBeouf work extremely well together and each scene with the two in it was fun to watch.

I found it easy to ignore the absurd plot involving aliens because the movie was more of a timepiece than anything. Similar to Forrest Gump, we follow Indy as he experiences most, if not all of the time period's major issues. The FBI's stranglehold on American pop culture by using Communism to control the country. Young people's urge to hold rallies against Communism. The hatred between high school "gangs" like jocks and greasers. The alien/Area 51 controversies. The nuclear bomb testing. It is all gold and it is all there. Spielberg finds a way to incorporate it all in an extremely deep plot.



Cate Blanchett provides a surprisingly memorable performance as Colonel Doctor Irina Spalko. As the Russian psychic specialist, she seems to fit right in with the traditional Indiana Jones villains. The typical anti-American type that is easy to hate. She is highly intelligent and shows a wide array of abilities from sword fighting to mind control. Ray Winstone is always a good on-screen presences and shows no signs of wearing down here as the triple, no quadruple, no double, oh who cares agent. And of course, the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood is as important as any character in the film. Her role clearly allows up to 2 or 3 more movies now. She didn't do much, but kept that same fire she explored in he earlier films.

Overall, I expected some good things from the fourth film, but it still surpassed my thoughts. It was much better than I thought it would be. As long as you can suspend your reality and disbelief for a few hours and enjoy the action and humor that goes with every Indiana Jones flick, you simply cannot be disappointed. I'm ready for number five. Please clear your schedule Shia.

out of 5 trophies

The Strangers: Review

2008-06-11T23:30:34Z

Going into The Strangers, I knew two things. First, this was director Bryan Bertino's first major film so I couldn't expect too much. More importantly, though, I felt I was in for a scary movie that was going to stay away from the genre's traditional problems. The preview gave me a sense of fear and I hadn't even seen the film. A good preview is always a great sign for a potentially equally good movie. I was most definitely wrong.

The Strangers started off pretty slow, but has glimpses of a realistic feel that may add to the fear later. So, I remained hopeful. As time progressed I couldn't help but notice how far Liv Tyler's beauty has fallen since her frolicking with Ben Affleck in Armageddon. She was nothing perfect, but undoubtedly a good looking woman. She's just another lady now, but this helped create a more realistic feel to the scary flick. The most important factor of The Strangers was the stress created between the situation that happens before the movie begins. Beginning just after a "wrong answer" proposal situation, there are problems in the McKay house. Suddenly, our "villains" begin wreaking havoc. The rest of the movie is simply a meaningless barrage of jumpy moments. Sure, it gives you that roller-coaster sensation and makes your heart rate speed up, but beyond that it serves no purpose. The "strangers" have no real motivation or style to their actions. It's just a bore of repetitive "BOO" scenes and main characters running around the backyard instead of towards the main road. Slowly, The Strangers became your typical scary movie. But again, here we have no purpose. No meaning. No reason to care at all for anything that happens.

Of course the ending caps off one of the worst scary movies I've seen in quite some time. After no real plot movement at all, the movie just ends. And "like a young man coming in for a quickie, I felt so....unsatisfied."I genuinely wasted a solid hour and a half of my life that will never come back. But thankfully, I had more movies to see on this luxurious day off. Our next movie review will be much better...

out of 5 trophies